Friday, May 10, 2013

A Snippet of My Life

I lead a very sedentary lifestyle. Part of it has to do with my OCD. But, about 4 years ago, something began limiting my body from doing things the way I was able to in the past. I have had numerous tests, but the doctors haven't found anything serious. It feels serious. The way it affects my life is serious, too. And, it has gotten more severe over the past year or so. Without a diagnosis to tell people, it's hard to explain why I look 35 years old, but can handle less physical activity than some 90-year-olds. If I do too much (which isn't much), sometimes I'm afraid to get out of bed for 2 days because of how it affects my body. Doctors have gone above and beyond to try to find answers for me. Even though they haven't been able to give me answers, I believe that God has reason(s) for all of it. I trust Him.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. - Proverbs 3:5

Now, onto my OCD. Due to OCD-related self-doubt, I have also become so dependent on others that I haven't left the house without someone by my side (within shouting distance of me) since before 2010. Rewind back to 2006: I moved to a big city by myself, worked 40 hours/week, lived alone in my own apartment, and drove.

Just from reading that little snippet, you can see my life has changed dramatically. But, you know what? God is awesome! There isn't much of my day (if any) that isn't focused on something faith-related. I haven't always been that way. I grew up going to church and Sunday School, as well as being involved in church youth activities. I am thankful to my mom for giving me that foundation, as I don't know if I would be where I am now, faith-wise, without it. Having said that, I didn't actually start really seeking God until a little over 2 years ago or so - I mean really seeking God. My life has changed so much in the past couple of years. I have had many amazing experiences, too. God is awesome!

And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. - Jeremiah 29:13

P.S. I want to add that I also believe I wouldn't be where I am faith-wise if it weren't for my physical and OCD struggles.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nor do I work in the health field. I am not an expert in anything faith-related, nor do I work in a faith-related area. The things I write are things I've learned and/or things I believe. I learned them from sermons, Bible teacher(s), Bible study, life, and/or etc. I take things I've learned and see how I believe they could be applied to OCD based on my experiences, etc. with OCD. I am not saying to use any of the things on this blog as treatment. Maybe you'll find some things in my blog posts to help you on top of whatever treatment method(s) you have chosen/choose to use or not use for your OCD, but you do so at your own risk. I am not responsible for any of your choices, actions, decisions. I am not responsible for any of your results, nor your lack of results. I have read something similar or the same as this in the past from a Bible teacher: If anything I ever write doesn't line up with God's Word, please throw it out.

OCD: Spoken Rituals. Pride. Control.

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