Thursday, April 25, 2013

OCD: Dependence on Others

Francis Chan writes:
"The Christian life is all about dependence on God. Again, this is something that we’d probably all agree on, but most of our lives look more like demonstrations of our own independence than humble attempts to rely on God in every situation."

I have a difficult time letting go of control, so I know I do not rely on God the way I need to in that respect, as well as in many other ways. But, independent is not a word I would use if I were asked to describe myself. I am independent about some things, as the meaning of independence has many aspects to it.

However, because of my OCD, a lot of my adult years have not been what I would call independent. As I've written in a previous post
, I struggle with distressing obsessive thoughts. The thoughts attack my character and cause me to question who I am as a person which, in turn, causes me to have extreme (sometimes disabling) self-doubt. So much so that, over the past 10 years, at multiple times (including now), I have become extremely dependent on a person or people in my life. The dependence even gets to the point where I feel unable to leave the house by myself.

Don't get me wrong, during part of the 10-year timeframe I mentioned above, I worked multiple jobs. My biggest year of so-called "independence" was in 2006.

During 2006:
I moved to a BIG city BY MYSELF.
I lived alone in an apartment.
I drove my car around the city.
I worked a job (with full-time hours) from April-December.

I want some of the things that go along with so-called "independence" - like working, driving, etc., etc., etc. But, I have a difficult time using the word INDEPENDENCE because what I need is DEPENDENCE - the kind of dependence where I am dependent on God for things that I am dependent on others for right now. That, in itself, would bring me a lot more FREEDOM, even with OCD.

As of now, I am stronger OCD-wise than I was about a year-and-a-half ago... and that is because of God.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nor do I work in the health field. I am not an expert in anything faith-related, nor do I work in a faith-related area. The things I write are things I've learned and/or things I believe. I learned them from sermons, Bible teacher(s), Bible study, life, and/or etc. I take things I've learned and see how I believe they could be applied to OCD based on my experiences, etc. with OCD. I am not saying to use any of the things on this blog as treatment. Maybe you'll find some things in my blog posts to help you on top of whatever treatment method(s) you have chosen/choose to use or not use for your OCD, but you do so at your own risk. I am not responsible for any of your choices, actions, decisions. I am not responsible for any of your results, nor your lack of results. I have read something similar or the same as this in the past from a Bible teacher: If anything I ever write doesn't line up with God's Word, please throw it out.

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