"... population me. What if there's a bigger picture? What if I'm missing out? What if there's a greater purpose I could be living right now outside my own little world?" - Matthew West
Those lyrics and that song might have different meanings to different people. To me, those words describe the place I've come to in my OCD.
Obsessive thoughts have caused me to have self-doubt to the point of closing myself into "my own little world" - in some way or another. "Population me" is pretty accurate, as well. I don't live by myself and I do see some friends and family. I even see strangers when I'm out-and-about for an appointment or whatnot. But, my world is so much more closed-off than it used to be... than it should be... than it could be. There are a lot of people I would see a lot more often if I didn't feel "stuck" mentally. And, I would go more places and do more things, as well.
Little by little, the more a person gives in to OCD, the smaller that person's world can become. For me, it's mostly because of fears and doubts. For someone else, it might be time-consuming routines that take up hours of the day. OCD, if you let it, can close you off from living the life you want to be living.
I still feel purpose, even within my own little world. But, because I allow my OCD to control my life in such a big way, I know that, right now, I'm missing out on so much of what God wants for me.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nor do I work in the health field. I am not an expert in anything faith-related, nor do I work in a faith-related area. The things I write are things I've learned and/or things I believe. I learned them from sermons, Bible teacher(s), Bible study, life, and/or etc. I take things I've learned and see how I believe they could be applied to OCD based on my experiences, etc. with OCD. I am not saying to use any of the things on this blog as treatment. Maybe you'll find some things in my blog posts to help you on top of whatever treatment method(s) you have chosen/choose to use or not use for your OCD, but you do so at your own risk. I am not responsible for any of your choices, actions, decisions. I am not responsible for any of your results, nor your lack of results. I have read something similar or the same as this in the past from a Bible teacher: If anything I ever write doesn't line up with God's Word, please throw it out.
God Loves You
List of Posts